I CAN DO "HARD" THINGS!

So i've had this title in mind for over a week now, however the content of the blog has remained a little lacking. In that i don't have much more to say than the tittle itself. I think i've mentioned in previous post/s that when your depressed you're constantly self talking, and most, if not all is negative and poisonous.

So in my healing i've stopped this altogether. I've been pretty good with this. I did discover that i stopped having a voice altogether. There was no mantra. The inner voice was silent. Inspiration came and i have my new voice.... I CAN DO HARD THINGS! I must say it over 20 times a day.

Spencer hits Brooklyn (I CAN DO HARD THINGS).... I approach him, take a deep breathe (because this is the 12th time he's done it today) and i try and deal with him as Christ would.

(Brooklyn the Carnivore... Lamb Shanks)

Its 5pm, the crankiest part of the day for mums and kids. We're all dying for Daddy to get home, dinner has to be made. Not ideal circumstances (I CAN DO HARD THINGS). Better still, I can do hard things day in day out. My goal this week was to cook dinner for 7days in a row. I don't think i've ever done this our entire marriage. I married a saint! Today is day 7. Not only have i cooked every day but i've also made sweets and have huge amounts of leftovers. We've sat at the table every night together as a family and we've been spot on with family scripture reading and prayer. The routine has stuck this week! you see I CAN do hard things!

So there Satan... pfft

Sharing proud parenting moments with Heavenly Father

Its time for an update. I guess I'm deciding to update now because things are going great. And for all the whining i do its time i write a post on the good. Lets just say I'm no longer dubious. Progress has been made. Spencer is now a big kindy boy. (brief pause in typing whilst i deflate my chest from the pride i feel inside). He no longer cries on my leaving or picking up. He eats some foods, he's formed attachments, he's no longer hitting other children, he breaks into songs that i haven't taught him, he looks forward to going to kindy. PHEW, what a relief we stuck it out! We've had some troubles with him at rest time and my Mum kindly offered to pat him off at rest time. Today however, he didn't need mummy or mymmy or pat him off to sleep. WOW. Now this might seem kind of ridiculous, but this is huge progress for my boy.

Spencer is now 3 and as I look back on those 3 years, I can honestly say they've been tough. He's not been an easy child to raise, but oh how i LOVE that little boy. Whilst he's still very 3, he's developing rapidly and loves to learn. He can be so tender at times, and spiritual. It fills me with joy to hear him pray un-aided and to watch his enthusiasm in learnings things of a spiritual nature. His recall amazes me. I could go on and on. Suffice to say, that I'm proud of you Spencer. And Heavenly Father is proud of you too. Thankyou for sending this child to our family.

Dubious

Spencer has been going to kindy... its been a month now. Out of the 8 days he's booked in he's made it to 5 of those days. Public holidays and sickness kept him out of the game for a bit there. So after a month i feel its time to evaluate. It sucks.

Spencer is 3 now and every facet (except toilet training which he did entirely himself) of his childhood has been hard work on both linc and myself. Eating, sleeping and behavior in particular. Before sending him to kindy we'd made some real headway in the sleeping and eating department. It took weeks and alot of tears from all involved but progress had been made.

We felt kindy was the answer to help spencer with social interaction, as well as the many other obvious perks. I was looking forward to spending some one on one time with brooklyn and having a cleaning and shopping day as well. This has not happened. I now have to drive up on both days and pat him off to sleep. This sucks because i can't get anything done.

Brooklyn sleeps from 9am - 11am

Spencer sleeps from 11.30am till whenever

Brooklyn sleeps from 1pm till whenever

This means that NOTHING is getting done. We have an extremely distressed little boy, that cries continually at home, doesn't eat and wakes up to 6 - 12 times a night..... screaming. I'm still battling this cold and last night started vomiting so i feel like crap. Linc is sleep deprived as well. He gets up to him as he insists i sleep so i can get over this cold.

I was prepared for a few hiccups and a period of settling in. I was prepared for a few tears and then he'd forget mum and go have fun. When you hear your child screaming in the night that he doesn't want to go to kindy, it really makes it hard to force him to go.

We're prepared to stick it out longer. Granted the last month hasn't had some consistency with holidays etc. In the mean time, I'm over it. Its damn expensive and a real inconvenience. I keep telling myself that we're doing this for his own good. He really needs to socialize and learn appropriate behavior before school. Its either going to suck now, or suck later. Get it over and done with i guess.

ARGH!