Saturday, May 12, 2012

Long service leave has ended...

Long service leave has ended...

It's been over a year... pity really.  I used to really enjoy writing, I'd even go as far to say I thought I was pretty good at it.  I was really some old blogs a couple of weeks ago and found myself chuckling.  I liked what I read and commented to Lincoln how it was "such a shame" I didn't write anymore.  I was even asked to contribute to a couple of blogs but have a real lack of inspiration.  I'll put it down to writers block.

I hope to make a go of it again.  A fair effort.  Well the big news item is that Lincoln and I are expecting baby number 3 in early November!  We're completely thrilled (albeit a little nervous).  I'll be a month shy off turning 30!  YIKES.  I'm extremely nervous about getting some sort of routine happening and squeezing in feeds while picking up and dropping off Spencer to school and Brooklyn to kindy.  Argh.

I think for the most part I'm enjoying Motherhood more than I ever have.  Spencer recently turned 5 and Brooklyn 3.  I completely love watching their unique personalities emerge and develop.  Lets hope some of the mimicked behaviour is just a "phase."  There's nothing more irritatingly hilarious than hearing your children tell you off, using the exact same phrasing and tone as you do.  Spencer has told me a few times after being told no to something that he is "extremely disappointed in me."  He was pretty cut when I laughed and told him he was cute.  Brooklyn just shakes her pointer finger and says "never ever."

When I wake at 3am every morning (because apparently my body has had enough sleep)  I lay awake thinking of what this new little soul is going to look and sound like.  After having quite a number of dreams that the baby is born with a huge hole in his face the appearance doesn't matter all that much.  I'll be the first to admit that our children are completely adorable ( I really do think they are good looking kids) but It's their personalities that make my heart expand with adoration.  Brooklyn's willingness to pray, her gentle nurturing ways with her dolls, the way she says hello to complete strangers and they walk away with a big smile on their faces..... oh how I love that little girl!  Spencer's excited anticipation for receiving the "Priesthood Power" when he's 12, the way he makes the most amazing contraptions and inventions from lego, how he still wants to cuddle and nuzzle noses, the way he tells a story or asks the most interesting questions.... oh how I love that little boy!

I feel like having this baby is the absolute right thing to do.  I'm nervous about a few things but have enough faith and confidence that the Lord will help me.  After all, they are His.  I really looking forward to the "moment" when the baby arrives and Lincoln and I will behold for the first time this precious new child.  I can't wait to watch Lincoln be the quiet loving Father  of a newborn again.  Watching my husband with our children does wonderful thing to my heart.  Life is good.  We have challenges.  We can do better, but for now.... all is well.  Happy Mother's Day to me, you lucky lucky girl!

Saturday, June 4, 2011


Sometimes we're all a little untouchable, especially emotionally. Hardened by sin, heavy with grief, blinded by selfishness or just not ourselves with versions of pms, pmt or "that time of the month." Music has the capacity to reach and commune with me. Even when i'm spiritually lacking because of laziness, the spirit touches my soul as people sing their songs of praise. This song has left an indelible impression on me. Proud people don't pray for guidance, or to know the will of the Father. Those types of prayers are rare for me, and that saddens me. I'm constantly under the assumption that I know better. The stupidity in that line of thinking is just an epic understatement. Daily making the same bad choices, weekly concreting those same bad habits, monthly reflecting on the frustrations, yearly lamenting on what could of been. Torture really. The lack of faith has left me relying on theory instead of sure knowledge and divine foreordination.

Better than I (lyrics)

I thought I did what’s right
I thought I had the answers
I thought I chose the surest road
But that road brought me here

So I put up a fight
And told you how to help me
Now just when I have given up
The truth is coming clear

You know better than I
You know the way
I’ve let go the need to know why
For you know better than I

If this has been a test
I cannot see the reason
But maybe knowing I don’t know
Is part of getting through

I try to do what’s best
And faith has made it easy
To see the best thing I can do
Is put my trust in you

For You know better than I
You know the way
I’ve let go the need to know why
For you know better than I

I saw one cloud and thought it was a sky
I saw a bird and thought that I could follow
But it was you who taught that bird to fly
If I let you reach me will you teach me

For You know better than I
You know the way
I’ve let go the need to know why
I’ll take what answers you supply
You know better than I

Sunday, May 15, 2011

NOT gleefully going gaga

I've come to a decision. Or rather a ban. This is a "as for me and my house" decision. My reasons for posting this decision is a "every man who hath been warned to warn his neighbour" type decision. Remaining passive and ignorant are just not my style...

Music is so integral to our society. Its significance becomes paramount to our youth. Ahhhhhh youth (I'm picturing Frank Barone from Everybody loves Raymond breathing in his grandchildren's youth with every breath) ...... the period of life where self discovery is sought after on a consistent basis. So many decisions are made during these turbulent years that will shape and mould their characters, and answer the question "What will I become?"

Proverbs answers that question... For as he athinketh in his bheart, so is he. If our thoughts are a manifestation of our hearts, what consequences do the echoing beats of our music choice present in our lives, and ultimately in our characters? In essence what do our playlists really say about us? Does our DVD collection although diverse in genre, also contain sameness with common themes in perversity? Has quality control been made redundant on our tv networks? Are we far to trusting in tv series, relying on past seasons to formulate opinions on watching current and subsequent episodes? Granted the world is going to pot, but have we let some of the stink in too? And do we actually look forward to when the smut is going to be on.... even downloading on the net before its actually broadcasted on tv? Personally, I can answer all of these questions, and their answers put me to shame. Hence the decision/ ban.

Last Saturday I had 1/2hr to myself while Linc took the kids out to run an errand. I was super excited, I flopped down on the couch in my bathrobe had the laptop out and decided to check out rage ( a music video tv show) for some background music. Ahhhh feel the serenity, it was so nice to be listening to some "new" music, beats and lyrics that in no way resembled any of my children's music. Then screeeeeeeeeeeeech. I looked up at the screen and what I saw and heard just shocked me. What I was witnessing was offensive in every possible way. I'm referring to lady gaga's new song, I'm in love with judas. (I know grammatically Nouns should start with a capital letter but I don't feel gaga or judas deserve the Capital letter right now). What I saw in that 30 seconds made me physically ill. If I dissected what I saw and broke it down, the individual elements might seem not so bad. Apparently the lyrics are not overly offensive, their was no nudity or sex scenes in the clip, and as a music video clip it would be deemed as entertaining. If I wanted to, I could of ignored it.

I just couldn't stand that filth for one more second. It felt like a measured and deliberate attack on all that I hold sacredly dear. Attempting to degrade Deity in the name of art and entertainment felt wrong wrong wrong. Look I won't blah blah blah about it. Many of my girls that I teach LOVE this artist. How many other songs or lyrics are being sung to a catchy tune, being danced to in her alluring individual interpretation of what she deems an accurate portrayal of "who she is?"

I suspect the lure isn't just the music itself. She's created a character, a brand, a concept. I myself bought her initial flattery's. I found myself admiring her prolific artistic abilities. She certainly brought something different to the music industry. Perhaps the other ploy in the younger years is the perfervid attempts to become different/individual (within the normal range of course, the concept of being weird is an abhorrent concept to a teenager). I know I've battled with this concept myself. I avoided the whole Twilight saga just because everyone else was doing it... Thats how I started watching Glee, there were just too much good feedback to not watch the show.

Are we chasing an illusion? By telling the world that I like coconut icecream, enjoy a bit of John Farnham and watch q&a really encapsulate who I am? Should our lives fit neatly into the text feilds of a face book profile, or are we defined by something more devine and eternal? I came across a talk whilst researching my repentance talk given by Elder Nelson. He made this point..."There is more individuality in those who are more holy. Sin, on the other hand, brings sameness; it shrinks us to the addictive appetites and insubordinate impulses. For a brief surging, selfish moment, sin may create the illusion of individuality, but only as in the grunting, galloping Gadarene swine!" (The pigs whom the Saviour cast the evil spirits into)

I'm a little bit cooky. A bit strange. A little intense, ok maybe alot. There are some qualities in my personality that I detest, others that I'm so eternally grateful for. The more righteous and Christlike I become, the more I feel like a daughter of God. I feel like I stand out for all the right reasons. And that over this life time I will become the best version God intended me to be. It means making choices. Who am I? This daughter of God is on high alert. Satan has entered this home via my tv, computer and other devices for long enough. Not only will gaga not be featured on my playlists, but glee is not my weekly "can't wait till wednesday night" program.

Why am i so long winded? Imagine the sound effect of a rider dismounting a rather tall horse... got that sound figured out in your head........ Thats just me getting down off my moral high horse.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Holy Cow he's 4 !!!!!!!!!
(and mummy isn't institutionalised)

So I've never hid the fact that the kid is hard work. Many tears have been shed for and because of this kid. He's also been our resident comedian and is extremely intelligent. He can be spiritual and has excellent comprehension skills. His memory ability surpasses many adults (including his mummy). When he's kind it melts my heart. I was always love you Spencer James Kilworth. Happy 4th Birthday kiddo. Love mummy and daddy xxoo

he's been begging me for a "real Woody" doll for ages. Love that kid's smile...

I think I met the brief! One "woody" cake to go! Cake decorating is so not my forte but I think I did pretty good this time.

We've still got a long way to go with the kid, but today I'm just grateful for his unique little spirit that has blessed our family in countless ways.

Saturday, March 26, 2011


.... WARNING it a long one!

He that hath ears to hear, let him hear. I approach this topic today with reverence and awe. I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me. I’ve agonized over what to share, pleaded for the Lord’s inspiration and prayed for the Holy Ghost to be present during this talk. I’ve felt apprehension as to how the message will be received. The sense of urgency and importance has intensified as recent world events have unfolded. I fret that the message will fall on deaf ears because of the person delivering the talk. I plead with you to open your hearts, to be receptive. He that hath ears to hear, let him hear.

Repentance… is widely misunderstood and often feared. Some feel that it is to be employed only by those in serious transgression, while the Lord intended that it be consistently used by every one of His children…. When understood and used, it is a dear and precious friend. The invitation to repent is rarely a voice of chastisement but rather a loving appeal to turn around and to “re-turn” toward God. It is the beckoning of a loving Father and His Only Begotten Son to be more than we are, to reach up to a higher way of life, to change, and to feel the happiness of keeping the commandments.

We are not saved by our good intentions and some listening today may need “a mighty change of heart” to confront serious sins. I myself fall into this category. I’ve fallen into the trap of believing the message is for someone else and that it does not apply to me. I have had to repent of fault findings in others. I guess when we spend too much time condemning anyone we have wasted time at working out our own salvation.

When all is said and done, we then are allowed to choose; will we repent, or will we pull the shades down over our open window into heaven? Neil L Anderson


Sin is the wilful transgression of divine law, it estranges us from God. Sin limits our progress and curtails our development. We all sin. Its something we all have in common. The Lord himself knew this and devised a Plan of Happiness or Salvation. Part of that plan was to have a Saviour, who would atone for the sins of mankind and make it possible for man to return to live in his presence. Jesus Christ came and did all that the Father asked him to do. He is the only way and means by which man can be saved. We can access the power of the atonement through the saving doctrine of Repentance.

Repentance is the Lord’s law of growth, his principle of development and his plan for happiness. Repentance is not optional for salvation. It is a commandment of God. Repentance is a rescuing, not a dour (severe, stern, stubborn) doctrine. It is available to the gross sinner as well as to the already good individual striving for incremental improvement. Repentance is one of the most vital and MERCIFUL doctrines of the kingdom. It is too little understood and too little applied by us all. Should it not be a regular means of personal progression? Neal A Maxwell

Sometimes it is easier to define what something is by telling what it is not. Spencer W Kimball taught: Repentance is not repetition of sin. It is not laughing at sin. It is not justification for sin. Repentance is not the hardening of the spiritual arteries. It is not the minimizing of the seriousness of the error. Repentance is not retirement from activity. It is not the closeting of sin to corrode and overburden the sinner.

Now more than ever, the world and the saints of the church need to repent. Paul was spot on when he spoke of our time…This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts. Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.


No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. (Matt 6:24) When we disobey God’s commandments we inadvertently choose by default our master. We choose the master of deception, the devil himself, Lucifer. He teaches slavery to the flesh, not the mastery of it.

Nephi explains how he operates: For behold, at that day shall he rage in the hearts of the children of men, and stir them up to anger against that which is good. And others will he pacify, and lull them away into carnal security, that they will say: All is well in Zion; yea, Zion prospereth, all is well—and thus the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth them away carefully down to hell. And behold, others he flattereth away, and telleth them there is no hell; and he saith unto them: I am no devil, for there is none—and thus he whispereth in their ears, until he grasps them with his awful chains, from whence there is no deliverance. (2 Nephi 28:20-22)

President Uchtdorf elaborates…Satan tries to counterfeit the work of God, and by doing this he may deceive many. To make us lose hope, feel miserable like himself, and believe that we are beyond forgiveness, Satan might even misuse words from the scriptures that emphasize the justice of God, in order to imply that there is no mercy.

We need to be aware of his influence. I love telling Satan how it is. Sometimes i love saying things out aloud to him. I can literally picture him shrinking, with the affirmation of truth, and that he has been discovered in his lies! He only has power and influence over us if we allow it.


Are you taking full advantage of the redeeming power of repentance in your life so that you can have greater peace and joy? Feelings of turmoil and despondency often signal a need for repentance. Also the lack of the spiritual direction you seek in your life could result from broken laws. If needed, full repentance will put your life together. It will solve all of the complex spiritual pains that come from transgression.

I'm certain little few are aware of my struggles with depression in the past. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed about my battle. In fact I want people to know, especially now as I'm finding answers to years of desperate prayers for help. My self pity was rife. It was during this state of mind that the sludge in which sin sprouts so easily was left to run rampant.

I had been quite angry toward Heavenly Father for some years... I found that I started to mellow and seeing things AS THEY REALLY ARE. Its no accident that particular people, articles, talks and promptings are not only teaching me but preparing me for change, alas repentance also. Its amazing how the combination of imbalance and Satan's angels can tear one soul apart and destroy all that is beautiful and divine


There can be no Repentance without recognition of wrong. We need to examine our lives. If we say we have no sin we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us (John 1:18) Whether by provocation, introspection, or wrenching remembrance, denial must be dissolved. As with the prodigal son who finally “came to himself”, the first rays of recognition help us begin to see “things as they really are. We must admit to ourselves that we have sinned, without the slightest minimilization of the offense or rationalizing of its seriousness, or without soft-pedaling its gravity. Recognition is a sacred moment, often accompanied by the hot blush of shame.

After recognition, real remorse floods the soul. This is a “godly sorrow,” not merely the “sorrow of the world” nor the “sorrowing of the damned,” when we can no longer “take happiness in sin.”

False remorse instead is like “fondling our failing.” In ritual regret, we mourn our mistakes but without mending them. Have we become too preoccupied with pleasing the carnal mind (Alma 30:53) which always insistently asks, “What have you done for me lately?” Do we pander to our favourite sins, indulging in their tranquilizing effects. We settle for “fun” and trade it for in for its superior… “joy.”

We become numb. Rationalizing is the enemy to repentance. Someone has said, “Rationalizing is the bringing of ideals down to the level of one’s conduct while repentance is the bringing of one’s conduct up to the level of his ideals.” Do we rationalize sin nearly out of existence?

The aim is to re-ignite the conscience. Let your sins trouble you. Let the tears flow, let your heart be chastened. There should be an element of shame. Do not endeavour to excuse yourself in the least point because of your sin. Instead of suppression, remove the hurt altogether. Let the justice of God and his mercy and his long-suffering have full sway in your heart; and let it bring you down to the dust in humility (Alma 42:30) Allow the Saviour to make you whole again, to heal you. At this point we will become like King Lamoni’s father when he said” I will give away all my sins to know thee, (Alma 22:18)

Russel M Nelson taught: The Lord insists on our repentance, most people don’t feel such a compelling need. They include themselves among those who try to be good. They have no evil intent. The Lord is clear in His message that all need to repent., not only from sins of commission but from sins of omission as well.


Very frequently people think they have repented and are worthy of forgiveness when all they have done is to express sorrow or regret at the unfortunate happening, but their repentance is barely started. Until they have begun to make changes in their lives, transformation in their habits, and to add new thoughts to their minds, to be sorry is only a bare beginning.

Do we justify ourselves in our perversions? Do we feel powerless in the matter, not responsible for the tendency. Do we blame God, thinking that “God made us this way.” This is untrue as any other of the diabolical lies San has concocted. It is blasphemy. Man is made in the image of God. Does the pervert think God to be “that way.”

Our ills are usually of our own begetting. They must be corrected by ourselves. Man is the master of his destiny, be it good or bad. Man has the inherent capacity to heal himself physically. Likewise, a healing process in the spirit and mind must come from within – from self will. Others may help to cauterize the wound, suture it, and provide a clean and proper environment for the healing, but the body, with the aid of the Spirit, but heal itself…. Subject to continued vigilance. We must work out our own Salvation.

The next step is to confess. It starts with confessing to the Lord. And if the matter is of a serious nature it is appropriate one goes to the bishop, a “judge in Israel”…in these matters the bishop is our best earthly friend. He is one who works with the Spirit of the Lord in blessing our lives and keeping all matters completely confidential. Those who hold back some of their sins will be held back. So will those who refuse to work humbly and honestly with the Lord’s appointed. Partial disclosure to appointed leaders brings full accountability. The Prophet Joseph said, “We ought to … keep nothing back.”

Neal A Maxwell warned: We cannot expect to sin publicly and extensively and then expect to be rescued privately and quickly, being beaten “with only a few stripes.” One with a broken heart will not hold back. A confession lets the sickening sin out, the spirit that withdrew, returns to renew. Confession then aids in forsaking.

Still other things stubbornly impede repentance, such as our not being reproved early on, when we might have been less proud and more able to recognize our need to change. (See D&C 121:43.) In such situations, truly “no man cared for my soul.” (Ps. 142:4.) Parents do their children a disservice in failing to instruct their children, and further impede their progress by failing to hold children responsible for wrong doings. We dessert their souls and leave them at Satan’s mercy by trying to gloss over transgressions to avoid publicity and scandal. Learning from your mistakes instead of obedience to God’s commandments is not wisdom.

During some of my darkest moments, family members, associates, dear friends and our wonderful bishop extended an olive branch and offered counsel and concern. For the most part their words fell on deaf ears. But the impression left with me was “they cared.” Two dear friends visited one day with a piece of paper containing a list. I sensed they were nervous. Polite chit chat exhausted itself and the conversation turned to the reason for their visit. Their list was a loving but direct call to repentance. Pride came into play. Funny how one who was suffering so severely with feelings of self worth could stand so obstinate and proud. They expressed their sadness, that they loved me dearly and left with a invitiation to come unto Christ. At the time the invitiation was rejected but like Enos, I began to ponder on the welfare of my soul. I began to hope. Time passed, and the seed of hope was beginning to grow. The wheels of change we set in motion.


In real repentance, there is the actual forsaking of sin. “Repent, and turn yourselves from all your transgressions; so iniquity shall not be your ruin.” (Ezek. 18:30.)And again in the D&C (58:43) By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them.

Repentance is like soap. It is the soap of life. Like soap, it washes away the sins of life. It is to be used as frequently as necessary. One must keep in mind, however, that misuse – lack of thorough cleansing and half-hearted effort – may result in “tattletale grey.” Properly used, however, the soap of life cleanses thoroughly, completely, and permanently.

The Saviour plead with his disciples whilst in the garden of Gethsemane: Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.(Matt 26:41) Haven’t we’ll all felt that? The desire was there, but alas failure. We can find comfort in knowing that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do. (2 Nephi 25:23) It requires effort to have a desire and not loose heart, especially with Satan constantly trying to bombard us with his half truths and discouragement.

One must not be surprised that effort is required, and not merely desire. After all, it is work which develops our spiritual and physical muscles. Strength and struggle go together. The supreme reward of struggle is strength. The pursuit of easy things makes men weak. Do not equip yourself with superior power and hope to escape the responsibility and work. It cannot be done.

To do evil is usually easier than to do right. The exercise of all your will and powers of the body and mind are demanded, to complete the glorious work of repentance. The mind needs just as much self control and discipline (if not more) than the body. Gandhi expressed : “A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. “

Whilst blogging about some of my insights in weightloss, I recorded the following. “I must learn to master my body and not let it make decisions for me. How can I expect to have further eternal and exalted responsibilities if I cannot learn to master my thoughts and appetites. The longer we indulge in sin the weaker we become. Satan incites the carnal man to ever-deepening degeneracy in his search for excitement until in many instance he is lost to any former considerations of deceny… we become as animals.

Paul taught: There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. The forsaking of sins implies never returning. Forsaking requires time. To help us, the Lord at times allows the residue of our mistakes to rest in our memory.


Repentance is timeless. Its evidence lies in transformation. Repentance does not work to deadlines. It is not hastened by upcoming nuptials, or have an “Advance to go” clause. Time is needed for sufficient cleansing and turning. For habits to be broken and new ones formed. Relationships with the entire Godhead are in repair and a softening of the sinner’s heart is being obtained. Have patience with yourself, do not loose courage in your own imperfections but continue in setting about remedying them. Every day begin the task anew. Whilst unpleasant, misery has its special uses. Repentance is the Lord’s law of growth and his principle of development. It is a vital part of our mortal learning .


In the anguishing process of repentance, we may sometimes feel God has deserted us. In the past, I’ve felt of this desertion. I felt wrongly abandoned. In reality it was my behaviour that had isolated me from Him. While we are turning away from evil but have not yet turned fully to God, we are especially vulnerable. Yet we must not give up, but, instead, reach out to God’s awaiting arm of mercy, which is outstretched “all the day long. Unlike us, God has no restrictive office hours.

Enos began the task of repentance by going to the Lord in mighty prayer. But what about during? It is ever so imperative throughout the entire process. In the exercise of abandoning sin, it is often necessary to abandon persons, places, things and situations that are associated with transgression. How else can we awake from the deep sleep, and shake off the awful chains by which we are bound ? We often feel it is “too hard.” I remember saying this to myself. In reflection I can safely say that I was absolutely right. I couldn’t do this… not on my own. Let prayer, the passport to spiritual power lead you through the cleansing process. And as repentance is more a journey than a one time event, it will become a conduit between you and the Father.


Living the commandments, for some, is the hardest part of repentance. It puts one on guard for the remainder of their life. One should seek to bring their life into full conformity with our Heavenly Father’s teachings for “by their fruits ye shall know them.” Perhaps few realize this as an important element. Though one may have abandoned a particular sin and even confessed it to his bishop, he is not yet repentant if he has not developed a life of action through service and righteousness. He that repents and does the commandments of the Lord shall be forgiven.” (D&C132-33)

When necessary, we seek a total transformation in thoughts, ideals, standards, and actions in order that we may fulfil the assignment given us by the Saviour: “I would that ye should be perfect even as I, or your Father who is in heaven is perfect.” (3 Ne. 12:48.) This step requires no holding back. If one neglects his tithing, misses his meetings, breaks the Sabbath, or fails in his prayers and other responsibilities, he is not completely repentant.

President Harold B Lee taught: “The most important of all the commandments of God is the one that you’re having the most difficulty keeping today. If it’s one of dishonesty, if it’s one of un-chastity, if it’s one of falsifying or not telling the truth, today is the day for you to work on that, until you’ve been able to conquer that weakness. Then you start on the next one that’s most difficult for you to keep.”


Along with living the commandments and pledging our lives in service we must make restitution, completely where possible, otherwise to the maximum degree possible. Leviticus states: Then it shall be, because he hath sinned, and is guilty, that he shall restore that which he took violently away, or the thing which he hath deceitfully gotten, or that which was delivered him to keep, or the lost thing which he found.

Scriptures make mention of, 4 even 5 fold restitution. The children of Israel were issued with secular laws, devised to control the large population. For example, Moses taught the people that… If a man shall steal an ox, or a sheep, and kill it, or sell it; he shall restore 5 oxen for a ox, and 4 sheep for a sheep. We might find this “a little steep.” The Lord explains in later verses, that when dealing with their fellow neighbour un-righteously they are also trespassing against the Lord. Restitution is about making things right in a physical and spiritual manner. It has nothing to do with the cost. If we truly understood the gravity of our sins and the part th

Approaching restitution with a “broken heart and a contrite spirit” will enhance our capacity, to find opportunities to restore to some extent. Like Godly sorrow, it‘s an attitude. By doing everything in our power to right the wrong. Forgoing personal embarrassment or reputation, a gossip may make restitution by strenuously trying to restore the good name of the victim they so carelessly slandered. Or perhaps destroying all illegal and forged media, pledging to pay a full and proper price on all future purchases. Ideas will flow as we endeavour to “put ourselves in some one else’s shoes.”


We start to give people the “benefit of the doubt.” We are more inclined to extend forgiveness, for we now understand its pre-condition to our own sought after forgiveness from the Father. Isaiah teaches that the Lord has mercy on us, and that he will abundantly pardon. (Isaiah 55:7) The Lord is eager to forgive his children. He wants to extend his arms of mercy toward you. To encircle you with his arms of safety and love, lengthened out all the day long. A parent instinctively stretches out their arms to comfort a hurt or distressed child. This is in like manner to the Father. Remember that we are his work and glory, to bring to pass our immortality and eternal life. “Of two things I remember quite clearly, I am a great sinner and Christ is a great Saviour!” (Amazing Grace)

President Kimball explained that the essence of the miracle of forgiveness is that it brings peace to the previously anxious, restless, frustrated, perhaps tormented soul… God will wipe away… the tears of anguish, remorse, fear and guilt.”

It is not repentance per se that saves man. It is the blood of Jesus Christ that saves us. It is not by our sincere and honest change of behaviour alone that we are saved, but “by grace that we are saved, after all we can do.” True repentance, however, is the condition required so that God’s forgiveness can come into our lives. True repentance makes “a brilliant day out of the darkest night.”

Satan will try to make us believe that our sins are not forgiven because we can remember them. Satan is a liar; he tries to blur our vision and lead us away from the path of repentance and forgiveness. God did not promise that we would not remember our sins. Remembering will help us avoid making the same mistakes again,. But if westay true and faithful, the memory of our sins will be softened over time, This will be part of the needed healing and sanctification process. Alma testified that after he cried out to Jesus for mercy, he could still remember his sins, but the memory of his sins no longer distressed and tortured him, because he knew he had been forgiven.


Once attained, we begin to recognise the fruits of repentance. We become conscious of blessings and new spiritual muscles that have developed over the course of time. The repentant convert finds that the truths of the restored gospel govern their thoughts and deeds, shape their habits and forge their character. They are more resilient and able to deny themselves of all ungodliness. Virtue garnishes their thoughts, and self-confidence grows. Tithing is seen as a joyful and protective blessing, not as a duty or sacrifice. Truth becomes more attractive, and things more praise worthy become more engaging. (Russel M Nelson) True conversion gives power. It turns “have to” into “want to.” Peace enters in, and the influence of the Spirit is enjoyed in greater abundance. In short we are better prepared to live with our Father in Heaven. (Pres. Uchtdorf)

How difficult it must be for Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer, to see so many needlessly suffer, because His gift of repentance is ignored. It must pain Him deeply to see the pointless agony both in this life and beyond the veil that accompany the unrepentant sinner after all He did so that we need not suffer. Richard G Scott


We are not saved by our good intentions. The temptation to delay comes from our enemy, Lucifer. One of the most serious human defects in all ages is procrastination.” Defined as “an unwillingness to accept personal responsibility now.” (Spencer W Kimball) Now” can seem so difficult, and “later” appear so much easier. The truth is that today is always a better day to repent than any tomorrow. First, sin has its debilitating effects on us. The very faith we need to repent is weakened by delay. The choice to continue in sin diminishes our faith and lessens our right to claim the Holy Ghost as our companion and comforter. (Neal A Maxwell)

We have been warned…“For behold, this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the day for men to perform their labours. (Alma 34:32)

Amulek testifies in Alma34:33-36

And now, as I said unto you before, as ye have had so many witnesses, therefore, I beseech of you that ye do not procrastinate the day of your repentance until the end; for after this day of life, which is given us to prepare for eternity, behold, if we do not improve our time while in this life, then cometh the night of darkness wherein there can be no labour performed. Ye cannot say, when ye are brought to that awful crisis, that I will repent, that I will return to my God. Nay, ye cannot say this; for that same spirit which doth possess your bodies at the time that ye go out of this life, that same spirit will have power to possess your body in that eternal world. For behold, if ye have procrastinated the day of your repentance even until death, behold, ye have become subjected to the spirit of the devil, and he doth seal you his; therefore, the Spirit of the Lord hath withdrawn from you, and hath no place in you, and the devil hath all power over you; and this is the final state of the wicked.

There is another temptation to be resisted. It is to yield to the despairing thought that it is too hard and too late to repent.

Have you wandered from the path of joy and now find yourself where you do not want to be, with feelings you do not want to have? Is there a yearning to return to the peace and joy of a worthy life? I invite you with all the love of my heart to repent and come back. Decide to do it now. That journey is not as difficult as it seems. You can cast out guilt, overcome depression, receive the blessing of peace of mind, and find enduring joy. Pray for help and guidance, and you will be led to find it. Go to where you know the light of truth shines—to a worthy friend, a loving bishop or stake president, an understanding parent. Follow the path to peace and joy through complete repentance. The Savior will help you obtain forgiveness as you sincerely follow all of the steps to repentance. He is the Redeemer. He loves you. He wants you to have peace and joy in your life.

In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen

Friday, March 18, 2011

“ Choose Faith! Choose faith over doubt, choose faith over fear, choose faith over the unknown and the unseen, and choose faith over pessimism.”

Richard C. Edgley

October 2010 General Conference

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Food for thought

Alicia..... note to self..... food is just food. You need it to live, and thats about it. Put the good stuff in and you will feel better. Put the bad stuff in and you'll feel bad. I tell this to myself ALL the time. The mantra is failing big time. Why, because most of the world views it completely differently!

Food is celebratory. Food is comforting and a healing balm. Food is a drug. Food is a tradition. Food is historical and features in stories. Food has become complicated. I don't think (infact I know) the Lord did not intend it to be this way. We made it complex. We open packets instead of plucking from the vine to eat.

If I want to change my eating habits it literally means that I must get a chopping board out FOR EVERY MEAL. As soon as a open a packet then I'm stuffed. Put simply, health means effort.

I've had a few instances where I've gone without a "treat" and watched everyone around me indulge. It sucked. Removed from the situation and thinking clearly, I feel to chastise myself for being so petty about food. Alicia.... where there cheques being handed out for $1 million dollars and you were the only one not to receive one? No? Then boo hoo! Get over yourself..... ITS JUST FOOD!

Better said then done. I must learn to master my body and not let it make decisions for me. How can I expect to have further eternal and exalted responsibilities if I cannot learn to master my thoughts and appetites. Cravings are optional, they are not a automatic disruption of my eating plan. Hunger is just a reminder that in times past I have made a habit of eating far too much. My stomach will shrink and the budget will thank me for it. I feel like I've made sense of all my complaints. I have an answer that is accurate and my body can accept that with minimal disappointment.

The struggle lies with the feeling of missing out. That I'm missing out on the treat or reward, or the celebration. Food can be inclusive. Why else do so many of drink alcohol? We want to feel a part of the group. We feel rude when we decline birthday cake, and bashful when we sit watching others eat whilst not eating ourselves. Can we not celebrate without consuming thousands of calories. Can we not Celebrate without food? It seems preposterous doesn't it? How do we go about changing that? Should it be more about the program and less about the menu?

Food for thought...not that food has anything to do with it.