Monotony... education for the eternities

Those who believe in the Plan of Salvation have a desire and want to return to live with our Father in Heaven. Further still we believe in progression and the eventuality of becoming like our Heavenly Parents in the roles of Gods (with the conditions of righteousness of course). So this is my opening paragraph.

Paragraph two. We're mortals and daily life is full of routines that are essential for our health and happiness. Most days are exactly alike. These certainly seems to be the case myself, a stay at home mum. The routines revolve around cooking and cleaning. OH MY GOODNESS THE CLEANING! Its not unusual to clean something up to 10 times a day. I average sweeping 4 times a day, washing up anywhere from 2-6 times a day, i make several meals, clean up toys fiddy million times and every now and again i spot dust in a place i haven't paid attention to in years and decide that the filth is to be eliminated this instant! I've often think while i'm ironing one of my husband business shirts..... didn't i just iron this! I wonder how many times I've ironed this shirt. So you get the drift, I clean alot and still the house is no where near the standard i'd like to keep.

In the days where i get really down its usually to do with how board i am from doing the same things over and over and over again. There is no excitement in monotony. Some days i try to give tasks little or no thought and just "get it over with." Other days it really gets to me and on those days the dishes sit in the sink, the toys are resembling a war zone and food is found smeared into the cream rug.

My question in all of this... What is the Lord trying to teach me? There is a lesson to be learnt in monotony. There is an attitude to be learnt in monotony. There is a eternal reality yet to come in monotony.

How long has God the Father been a God the Father? And how long is God the Father going to be God the Father? Eternity. I expect he knows alot about monotony. Has he not been doing the same things for eons of time and will continue to do so forever more. So where does the desire and enthusiasm in saving another one of his children come from. I mean he's done this a billion times already, we get board from ironing a shirt a hundred times!

Monotony is teaching me to be patient. It teaches me to serve those i love, whilst forgetting myself. It teaches me to use quiet moments and go on auto drive whilst performing a task, but use the time to ponder and evaluate. It teaches me to master my temper. It teaches me that the process is more important than the end result. It teaches me to rely on the Lord. It teaches my mind to entertain itself. It teaches me to plan better. It teaches me to teach my kids to become more independent and clean up after themselves. It is continuing to teach me to become like Him.

And can one find Joy in monotony? I think we'd better, because i suspect we're all going to have a mortal and spiritual lifetime full of it.

Epiphany

What a truly wonderful blessing friends can be. They serve a different purpose to family, in that they bless your lives in such varied ways. I have many friends. One in particular i'm grateful to this week... Miss Anne Shirley would describe this friend and a bosom friend or a kindred spirit. We both agree we must of known each other in the pre-existance. I've had this feeling of familiarity with a few of my friends. Where it seems that the first conversation one has with this stranger is literally picking up where you left off. I love her like a sister and although we're not of the same age bracket it rarely is a consideration. We respect each others differences and strengths. I really cherish her. What i love most about our friendship is how we can talk. Its quite unique. The words are bountiful and easy. Spiritual communication is not verbalized but without a doubt exchanged. Her constancy along with others has helped heal my soul.

Now to the moment of enlightenment. We were talking in the car after a "Relief Society Activity" (gosh didn't we all just used to Enrichment). We hadn't spoken in quite some time. So it started out as a general catch up then it turned into some more pressing maters in our lives. I felt like i was able to clearly give voice to thoughts that had been brewing in my mind and soul for some time. And whilst they'd never been heard by ear, my friend sat patiently as I ordered and connected those thoughts.

I'm certain little few are aware of my struggles with depression in the past. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed about my battle. In fact i want people to know, especially now as i'm finding answers to years of desperate prayers for help. Ive been quite angry toward Heavenly Father for some years now... I'm finding that i'm mellowing and seeing things AS THEY REALLY ARE. Its no accident that particular people, articles, talks and promptings are not only teaching me but preparing me for change, alas repentance also. Its amazing how the combination of hormone imbalance and Satan's angels can tear one soul apart and destroy all that is beautiful and divine.

In all my years of depression one of the many thoughts that were constantly being processed was that "its harder to obey God and live his laws, than it is to live life with my own ideas." I placed this in inverted commas because quite literally this is a conversation i would have with myself all the time. When one is depressed they are usually feeling unmotivated and tired, hence living the gospel just seemed to hard. THIS IS A LIE. I love telling Satan how it is. Sometimes i love saying things out aloud to him. I can literally picture him shrinking, with the affirmation of truth, and that he has been discovered in his lie! My body sings and reverberates when exposed to truth. Its like the pleasing echoes of a harp.

Pride comes into play here as well. Funny how one who is suffering so severely with feelings of self worth can still stand so obstinate and proud.

I also discovered that if i'm finding it hard to live the gospel then i'm not converted to it. True conversion gives power. It turns "have to" into "want to." This means i need to focus my energies in doing things that will bring about the spirit and in return reap the rewards of the spirit. How foolish to think that i knew better.

And so, i've seen the light. Quite literally. I am more than my lumpy figure, in fact, it bothers me quite substantially less. I think when i start learning to see myself how God see me then the desire to look after this earthly tabernacle will come. I must admit that it seems like some time away as i'm focusing my energies on developing and healing by battered soul. Its time to live the testimony and show forth the faith that i've testified of in the past. Fear is not Faith.

Dearest children, God is with you.

Watching o you day and night.

And delights to own and bless you.

If you strive to do whats right.

He will bless you, he will bless you

If you put your trust in him

Why standards are important to me ....

So those who know me know i'm a bit of a nazi for standards. Dress particularly, but also the music and things we watch etc. Lets start by saying I'm not about to be translated for living a perfect existance, i'm struggling just as much as the next. This is purely just a thought i had and quite frankly i'm a little tired of hearing that standards are not important. That your not going to go the hell if your wearing a singlet or watch a movie with some dodgy scene's in it. So here's my spin on things as to why standards ARE important, well to me at least.

We're familiar with the plan of salvation... if not then people please find your way to www.lds.org read about it, pray about it, and then live your live according to it. So then what is the purpose of this life? This is a primary question and lets all give it a primary answer.... to live with our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ in the eternities. And now for the Sunday School answer. We know that there are three seperate kingdoms in which we will be appointed after judgement. And if we want to reside with our HF and Christ then we will need to be in the Celestial Kingdom.... infact the HIGHEST DEGREE of the Celestial Kingdom. This is point 1

Point 2. We as a people believe in and are governed by laws. The law of the land is in place to offer protection and offers a basic moral code to its citizens. God is no different, he is bound by laws as are we. And lets just clarify God's laws are perfect. Generally the laws of the land are for protection and mostly fair.... not always. Why? because they are made, enforced and changed by man. God's laws are always fair, and even when we deem them "unfair" the assumption is made by a mortal with no knowledge of the "bigger picture." God's laws are also for our protection and for a moral code in to which we live our lives. Standards also fall into this catagory. They are for our protection. We also know that they're are higher and lower laws. For example the law of consecration... a higher law. Remember what happened with the 10 Commandments...

Point 3. I'm sure I'm not alone in saying that, as a parent, i want the best for my children and its petrifying trying to raise my children in this world. In this day in age where good has been called evil and vice versa. We ask ourselves as parents and individuals, how do we protect and ensure happiness for our children? What tools or weapons can we use to fight the battle? We have many tools or weapsons in our arsenal just waiting for us to use them. Knowledge is one of them. "Teach a man correct principles and let him govern himself." Already mentioned above but worth mentioning again, we also have laws, commandments, standards. We have ordinances which are coupled with covenants which are purpose built for saving and exalting. There is also the power of the atonement with its purifying and saving abilities. Not to mention prayer and the scriptures. I'm sure i've missed something out but a pretty big arsenal if you ask me.

So now to culminate my above 3 points and try and verbalize my notion. Let me list the important statements thus far...

*I'm not going to hell if i wear a bikini or watch a seedy movie.... In answer, your probably right, however i seriously doubt that you'll be in the highest degree of the Celestial Kingdom. I would think (and lets not get carried away with the "Alicia your judging me" comments, hear me out) that in order to be deserving of obtaining exaltation and live with God in the highest degree of the Celestial Kingdom that we would be living to the best of our ability the higher laws. Especially to those who have received their Endowments. When we know better, we do better seems about right.

*Standards are not important... In answer, they are tools for our protection and we are able to choose if we want to use them. I have many friends with different standards to me. I love them dearly and they in turn (hopefully) are forgiving of me and my strong opinions.

My point is I CHOOSE to use standards for my protection. Put simply, i don't want to have trouble controling my thoughts so i don't want to watch crappy tv shows that in their light entertaining ways, lull us into passivity in regards to fidelity in marriage, honesty, the sacredness of sex, the importance of family and having to make sacrifices for it. Look there is more but I'll leave it at that.

I don't want my body to been seen to all the world. Look I'm pretty overweight atm so NO ONE wants to see my body, but the attitude that "if you've got it flaunt it" is wrong wrong wrong. Modesty in dress shows respect, it allows people to feel comfortable and displays to people who we are and how we feel about ourselves. So sure, go ahead and go swimming but you can still have fun in a modest bathing suit. Our world has almost if not already succeeded in completley sexualizing the female body. And in part everytime we "under dress" it is a sad cry for "LOOK AT ME." Women want to be beautiful and don't think thats at all possible if they "look" a certain way. I've met and befriended many a person that the world would not of labeled "beautiful," however their intelligence, or kindness, their very souls make a stunning sunset look dull. "The Lord look not on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh upon the heart."

I want music to uplift me, to give me motivation and to illustrate beauty and instill gratitude in my soul. I can enjoy sex without an unwanted pregnancy, guilt, a STD or anything negative because i chose one person who i married and had a commitment from to share that part of me with. I see the differance living standards makes in my life... Gosh its so much easier! I can make that distinction now after struggling to live some standards earlier in my life. Standards are not the enemy here. I refuse to allow Satan preach the lie that they are not important! If they're not important, if they don't matter then why did God reveal them to us?

If you choose not to live them, fine. But i will not have it said that they're don't matter and that they're not important.

I think that's all i have to say about that.

Virginity a gift you say...

So linc and i started watching grand designs again (on dvd, my valentines gift to him) because of the crap that's on tv. And while we were changing the dvd over we noticed Q&A was on (ABC - channel 2). For those who don't know Q&A is a political debate show, with politicians, financial, cultural experts and well as the odd journalist who all are offering their opinions to the public questions and statements. Great show. The topic emerged on Tony Abbots comments re: women's virginity being a gift and the giving of it not to be done lightly... something to that effect. I must find the actual statement.

Since last night i've read several articles, and i must admit i almost cried with sadness. Its quite apparent the world feels differently, male and female alike. One (female) journalist stated that its only a hymen and that a woman should be loved for her mind, soul and other qualities. Another article stated that its just sex and they don't want to be preached by any politician on how or when they decide to have sex. Gosh i feel like crying now as i type this. Other attitudes have been that he's from the dark ages and that this is a "old fashioned" view, or perhaps that its too late for anyone to start preaching this message at all, including politicians, religious leaders and sadly even parents.

I just read an article from eurkeastreet.com.au, written by Catherine Marshall.

I realise that by proselytising on sex I am employing an outdated and irrelevant technique, broaching a subject on which she is already well informed and over which my right to exert control is rapidly diminishing.

The beginning of the article seemed in favor of Tony Abbotts statement but as a mother she feel powerless to teach the message to her daughters. Again.... how sad! If parents can't teach and influence their own child then we really are in BIG trouble.

Poignancy vs Optimism

Here we go, it begins. I'm usually a glass half empty type person and become skeptical of those who see it being delightfully full (preferably full of chocolate milk, I digress). In fact when i'm feeling at my lowest it actually makes me angry that they go about deciding to be happy and positive about current situations. Strange? Well i guess at the time of any emotion it seems appropriate and makes complete sense, but life is full of moments of retrospect and reflection and i guess while i'm writing this i'm having one of those moments. I guess for some its natural to be optimistic and positive about one's future. I would think that it must require at some courage to "decide/choose" to feel this way.

Linc and I watched Julie & Julia on Friday night, and a progression of thoughts stemmed from there. I turned to him and shared with him a recent epiphany i had re: me. Want to know what it is? I don't think i'll ever "love" my body, the way i look etc BUT i am beginning to fall in love with my MIND! The way i think, my opinions, convictions, what i believe to be important, what i want to learn, what interests me etc. At this point Linc was quite bemused and just sat listening like a good husband. But there's more.... How is it that the mind that i'm beginning to love and understand can dream wonderful dreams, create and imagine wonderful things and just process the many eclectic and mostly wonderful things that enter into it, can, in a instant "switch" and absolutely sabotage me?

Its said that we choose our own attitudes. And to be fair i believe we do, but i've found that over time my depressed mind habitually chooses for me. It takes monumental effort (which i usually don't have) to force these thoughts (which lead to attitudes and actions) from my mind and replace with the happier, healthier alternative.

Rather deep for a first blog. Shall we change tone....

So one of my loves. Well FOOD. Love to cook without the interruptions of children. Really enjoyed cooking up the Christmas parcels for friends and family from last year.

Here's the recipes for the Strawberry Vanilla Bean Cordial and Lemon Butter. Let me know if your interested in the Almond Shortbread, Truffles or Tomato Chutney

Strawberry & Vanilla Bean Cordial

500g strawberries

500mL water

1 Lemon

900g castor sugar

40g citric acid

*Wash and remove stalks and halve the strawberries

*place in large bowl (that has a sealable lid) and give a little crush with a potato masher to release some of juice

*Slice lemon thinly into rings and place on top of strawberries

* Sprinkle over sugar and Citric acid

* Fill saucepan up with water and while waiting for it to come to the boil cut your vanilla bean in half and scrape the vanilla out, add to the water along with the pods themselves.

*once water is boiling pour over the strawberry mix and stir until sugar is dissolved.

*Seal the bowl with the lid and regridgerate for 4 days. Give it a stir once a day

*Now the fun part. First strain the whole mix through a colander, then a sieve, then a muslin clothe (heck i just used Brooklyn's baby muslin wraps).

*Then its time to funnel it in to the glass jugs using a funnel

*Lasts about 3-4mths in the fridge

-Great with mineral water, or water itself, in milkshakes or as a icecream topping etc just keep in mind its alot stronger than store bought cordial

(To bottle it up i usually just use the good ol glass water jugs that are about $3 each from Kmart)

There's heaps of other ideas so just google cordial for different ideas etc...

Lemon Butter

2 cups sugar

6 eggs lightly whisked

3 good sized lemons

250g butter

Optional Add Zest of 2 Lemons

*Wash Bottles and Lids and place in oven at about 160C at beginning of process

*Place all ingredients in a double boiler over a low heat until the butter melts

*Increase heat and continue to stir until it thickens (this takes quite a while)

*Pour into the warmed jars and seal immediantly

Happy Eating People