Poignancy vs Optimism

Here we go, it begins. I'm usually a glass half empty type person and become skeptical of those who see it being delightfully full (preferably full of chocolate milk, I digress). In fact when i'm feeling at my lowest it actually makes me angry that they go about deciding to be happy and positive about current situations. Strange? Well i guess at the time of any emotion it seems appropriate and makes complete sense, but life is full of moments of retrospect and reflection and i guess while i'm writing this i'm having one of those moments. I guess for some its natural to be optimistic and positive about one's future. I would think that it must require at some courage to "decide/choose" to feel this way.

Linc and I watched Julie & Julia on Friday night, and a progression of thoughts stemmed from there. I turned to him and shared with him a recent epiphany i had re: me. Want to know what it is? I don't think i'll ever "love" my body, the way i look etc BUT i am beginning to fall in love with my MIND! The way i think, my opinions, convictions, what i believe to be important, what i want to learn, what interests me etc. At this point Linc was quite bemused and just sat listening like a good husband. But there's more.... How is it that the mind that i'm beginning to love and understand can dream wonderful dreams, create and imagine wonderful things and just process the many eclectic and mostly wonderful things that enter into it, can, in a instant "switch" and absolutely sabotage me?

Its said that we choose our own attitudes. And to be fair i believe we do, but i've found that over time my depressed mind habitually chooses for me. It takes monumental effort (which i usually don't have) to force these thoughts (which lead to attitudes and actions) from my mind and replace with the happier, healthier alternative.

Rather deep for a first blog. Shall we change tone....

So one of my loves. Well FOOD. Love to cook without the interruptions of children. Really enjoyed cooking up the Christmas parcels for friends and family from last year.

Here's the recipes for the Strawberry Vanilla Bean Cordial and Lemon Butter. Let me know if your interested in the Almond Shortbread, Truffles or Tomato Chutney

Strawberry & Vanilla Bean Cordial

500g strawberries

500mL water

1 Lemon

900g castor sugar

40g citric acid

*Wash and remove stalks and halve the strawberries

*place in large bowl (that has a sealable lid) and give a little crush with a potato masher to release some of juice

*Slice lemon thinly into rings and place on top of strawberries

* Sprinkle over sugar and Citric acid

* Fill saucepan up with water and while waiting for it to come to the boil cut your vanilla bean in half and scrape the vanilla out, add to the water along with the pods themselves.

*once water is boiling pour over the strawberry mix and stir until sugar is dissolved.

*Seal the bowl with the lid and regridgerate for 4 days. Give it a stir once a day

*Now the fun part. First strain the whole mix through a colander, then a sieve, then a muslin clothe (heck i just used Brooklyn's baby muslin wraps).

*Then its time to funnel it in to the glass jugs using a funnel

*Lasts about 3-4mths in the fridge

-Great with mineral water, or water itself, in milkshakes or as a icecream topping etc just keep in mind its alot stronger than store bought cordial

(To bottle it up i usually just use the good ol glass water jugs that are about $3 each from Kmart)

There's heaps of other ideas so just google cordial for different ideas etc...

Lemon Butter

2 cups sugar

6 eggs lightly whisked

3 good sized lemons

250g butter

Optional Add Zest of 2 Lemons

*Wash Bottles and Lids and place in oven at about 160C at beginning of process

*Place all ingredients in a double boiler over a low heat until the butter melts

*Increase heat and continue to stir until it thickens (this takes quite a while)

*Pour into the warmed jars and seal immediantly

Happy Eating People