Day One... should be un-eventful right?! I'm hungry. I had my first lite n easy meal at lunch just after it arrived. I was nice, but i could of eaten 3 times that amount to feel satisfied. I had porridge for breakfast made with skim milk and an apple for morning tea. ARGH i didn't think it would be so hard STRAIGHT AWAY. And to make matters worse, its raining, so my walk down to the park will have to wait for clearer weather. I guess this really is day one of re-hab. Massively addicted to food!

Goal 1

Fit my wedding and engagement ring

Goal 2

Fit a size 14 for the eventual nuptuals of the Beffamy and Bennitch. (No pressure guys, I need a while to reach that target).

Goal 3

Cut back on lite n easy and suppliment meals with my own cooking

Goal 4

Exercise. DOn't know how i feel about this one. hmmmmm

Right. The ranting is over. Back to work ALicia

Monotony... education for the eternities

Those who believe in the Plan of Salvation have a desire and want to return to live with our Father in Heaven. Further still we believe in progression and the eventuality of becoming like our Heavenly Parents in the roles of Gods (with the conditions of righteousness of course). So this is my opening paragraph.

Paragraph two. We're mortals and daily life is full of routines that are essential for our health and happiness. Most days are exactly alike. These certainly seems to be the case myself, a stay at home mum. The routines revolve around cooking and cleaning. OH MY GOODNESS THE CLEANING! Its not unusual to clean something up to 10 times a day. I average sweeping 4 times a day, washing up anywhere from 2-6 times a day, i make several meals, clean up toys fiddy million times and every now and again i spot dust in a place i haven't paid attention to in years and decide that the filth is to be eliminated this instant! I've often think while i'm ironing one of my husband business shirts..... didn't i just iron this! I wonder how many times I've ironed this shirt. So you get the drift, I clean alot and still the house is no where near the standard i'd like to keep.

In the days where i get really down its usually to do with how board i am from doing the same things over and over and over again. There is no excitement in monotony. Some days i try to give tasks little or no thought and just "get it over with." Other days it really gets to me and on those days the dishes sit in the sink, the toys are resembling a war zone and food is found smeared into the cream rug.

My question in all of this... What is the Lord trying to teach me? There is a lesson to be learnt in monotony. There is an attitude to be learnt in monotony. There is a eternal reality yet to come in monotony.

How long has God the Father been a God the Father? And how long is God the Father going to be God the Father? Eternity. I expect he knows alot about monotony. Has he not been doing the same things for eons of time and will continue to do so forever more. So where does the desire and enthusiasm in saving another one of his children come from. I mean he's done this a billion times already, we get board from ironing a shirt a hundred times!

Monotony is teaching me to be patient. It teaches me to serve those i love, whilst forgetting myself. It teaches me to use quiet moments and go on auto drive whilst performing a task, but use the time to ponder and evaluate. It teaches me to master my temper. It teaches me that the process is more important than the end result. It teaches me to rely on the Lord. It teaches my mind to entertain itself. It teaches me to plan better. It teaches me to teach my kids to become more independent and clean up after themselves. It is continuing to teach me to become like Him.

And can one find Joy in monotony? I think we'd better, because i suspect we're all going to have a mortal and spiritual lifetime full of it.

Starting something without the passion to back it up...

I had a temple recommend interview a few months back. One of the questions relates to faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. I answered in the affirmative. Yet how strong is this faith?

The goal is to be healthy. I'm currently obese, and this is not acceptable. I'm breaking commandments by not looking after this body and thats not good enough.

Put simply, i know i have to loose weight and gain control of a healthy lifestyle, the fact of the matter is I really have no interest what so ever. I don't believe I can do it. I don't believe any changes or efforts will last. This is and will be my hike to some unattainable summit. The goal in all its enormity, completely TERRIFIES me. Its like the first time you give birth. Your pushing and it hurts, but you can't ignore the fact that YOU HAVE TO DO IT.

Faith is not fear. Its time to live my testimony. For years I have let self doubt hinder and justify past behaviors and habits. I am absolutely right in saying that i can't do this..... on my own.

I know all the information in my head. Even whilst I'm typing this i lack the conviction i feel i need to start and see this through. So step 1 is this... Start

As of next week i start Lite n Easy. I will start taking zinc again. Did I tell you I'm scared. I think this is going to dredge up some stuff. I call it stuff because i really don't know what's going to happen. Heaven help this home, and all who live in it!

I don't care how much i weigh. This is about changing the physical Alicia so the spiritual Alicia can soar to new heights. I believe that they are connected. We'll see.