Why "bringing sexy back" is not important to me...

I have 2 men in my life who detest the words, hot and sexy, when it comes to describing how a woman looks. Infact one of them actually rouses at me and asks me to use a more "appropriate" word. I thought they were going a little over board, but I think there is some just reasoning to their strong objections.

Whilst talking to another fellow mum at church yesterday I shared my insight with her. I explained that this (picture me pointing up and down my body) DOESN'T MATTER. I can feel good about myself and not be a supermodel.

Now let me quickly add that it does matter. I believe strongly that our bodies are a temple and that we should take care of our bodies.

There is no requirement waistline measurement to gain exaltation. As long as i'm healthy then it doesn't matter how I look. I've been able to develop enormous amount of self worth by becoming closer to Heavenly Father. I have come to respect my mind through meditation. I think part of me still and always will reserve some of my self esteem in my appearance (and rightly so), but it will no longer be the cause for feeling ugly, unworthy of love or demoralized.

I would imagine people take pride in the hard work they put into their appearance. I hand it to them, it must take immense amounts of motivation and determination to maintain those types of physics. I've noticed they all say how wonderful they feel, being full of energy. I must admit i envy that part (the energy). In saying that I've come to learn that living the gospel more fully gives me energy. Living my life more in harmony with gospel teachings gives me energy.

I guess the title of the post it not entirely true. For me it just doesn't matter anywhere near as much as it used to.

Going back to my first paragraph. I asked why the boys hated the terms. They answered that the terms are overtly sexual and demeaning. Now these are their opinions bloggers, so don't get your nickers in a knot. We all think people are attractive for different reasons. Sometimes that starts out with their appearance and opinions can quickly change when they open their mouths. Why do we need to be sexy? Why do we need to be hot? For me it means looking a certain way to get attention. And probably the wrong type of attention (unless its someone we're married to).

So here it is. I want to be BEAUTIFUL. Not sexy or hot. Beautiful implies a whole host of qualities. Sexy and Hot imply sexual attractiveness. We don't use the word sexy to describe someone's intellect or personality yet we do use the word beautiful. Its really only a small thing, changing my choice of words, but for me it has a deeper meaning. Changing the word means changing my goal. My husband already finds me sexually attractive (which used to amaze me when i'm currently a size 20) so I'm going to change some other qualities that can make me even more Beautiful. Do you get my line of thinking here?

SNAPPY TOM

Its a little sad that the post that follows "i can do hard things" is a blog about how crappy i feel atm. The last 2 days i've just been dying for a holiday. I miss my husband. I miss it being just him and I. I miss having fun on a regular basis. Whilst things have been improving on the most part, the last 2 days my hormones have come back to reek havoc on me.

So linc's birthday is on monday. I have one crappy gift and feel like its become a non-event, jsut like it it every year. I feel like i don't really know him, and its being reflected in the gift and celebrations. lame.

The ball is on tonight. They don't make pretty ball dresses for big girls and if they do i certainly can't afford them. So after taking everyone's advice i went and bought some fabric and started to sew. EWWWWWWWWWW. Not good, not good at all.

The kids are clingy and whiney and i'm miss snappy tom and cranky pants. The rego, rates, kindy fees, electricity all turned up at the same time and the lawn mower went in to get fixed. So when the poor man collecting money for the epilepsy foundation turned up at my door (I remained calm and polite) i felt like ripping his head off! I'm sorry but NO.

Its all getting to me. I'm craving alone time, I need to think, I need to re-energize, I need time to fall in love with my children again (whilst apart from them), I need to re-connect with lincoln, i need some time when i can read the scriptures, the house needs a scrub (oh it makes me sick, actually its getting embarrassing), I need PEACE.

Finding it hard to be chipper about doing the dishes for the 6th time that day or pulling the vaccume cleaner out for the 3rd time that day, or picking up the lego for the 5th time that day. The bin needs taking out again, crap its 5pm i have no idea what to make for dinner, and no Brooklyn i can't hold you and chop carrots at the same time. I want to murder Bob the Builder and mute all whingey noises that come from my kids. I need a couple of days to sit down and work out a budget, we need to do some major work around the house, MAJOR, argh but all the plans are going to pot and life centers around the precious children. And they are precious but Mummy needs are re-charge! ... I need some time in the temple.

I just wanted to whinge.

Feel free to stop reading now.