STOP PRESS.... Alicia actually finished a project

Its February... what the heck. I haven't felt like blogging. Still don't, but one of my besties just wrote a witty and entertaining blog and it reminded me that I used to write. I don't necessarily need an audience.... I'm haughty enough to laugh at my own jokes and feel gratified at my supposed witticisms. Incognito, I play the housewife pretending to be educated and clever when really I want to use ordinary and dull words that are used in the thesaurus' search engine not in the actual text itself. Farcical really. See what I mean, ridiculous would of sufficed but I can't help myself. What a doofus (no dictionary or thesaurus needed there).

I digress. Just wanted to show you the skirts I made at Christmas for the girls. The previous post mentioned I'd started and would you believe they actually made it under the Christmas tree. I was really chuffed at the end result. What a great word...chuffed, not to be confused with chaffed.

Jazzy and Bella

I took the girls skirts from a pattern over at this blog.... Fantastic. Search under her tutorials under girls patchwork skirt, its a fair way down the page.

Micky

Micky's skirt took HOURS and HOURS and HOURS. Cutting and sewing on the bias is unforgiving and frustrating to say the least. This idea was from No Big Dill and I think I put her link on the last post.

I made an outfit for Brooklyn as well... here she is looking less than impressed.

I added a little cupcake applique to her little shirt and just made a easy rah rah skirt, using her measurements multiplying by 2 for the top layer and 3 for the bottom. Elastic waist band with a frill and cha ching DONE!

I managed to squeeze sewing up some softies for Christy to help out with some of the flood victims. Details are on her blog here. Just the same Elephant ones I did a while back. Pretty sure i had pictures up on a previous post.

And thats all I have to say about that. Coming up. I hope to publish my Repentence talk, which isn't until march but I've started doing my research early especially because I wanted to read the Miracle of Forgiveness. I am no longer the same person. More on that later.

Report and Re-emphasize

So it been quite a while. A long time, and things are going well, i just haven't been in the writing mood. The report is as follows.

I've lost 12kgs. I feel great. I'm fitting size 16's and am now flying solo. So i stopped doing lite n easy about 3 weeks ago now and have lost 2kgs on my own now. These are all nice accomplishments to report, they are the measurable accomplishments. I'm more proud of the progress i've made that people can't see. The changes inside my mind are the changes I'm most proud of.

The first 2 weeks were HELL. It was literally like going on a detox. The withdrawal was monstrous. I was craving sugar SO bad. I was really hungry. I felt terrible. I wanted to quit so many times. I stuck it out. Yeah good on me.

I bought Zumba and started doing that as well. Been super slack in the last month though.

I no longer have cravings. Infact my body cannot tolerate bad fatty food. Without going into details, it literally rejects it. On several occasions I've taken one mouthful of lets say a burger and spat it right out. YUCK. I actually don't like the flavor of bad foods anymore. My taste buds have completely changed. Once upon a time I could eat the sweetest things, now, fruit is as about as sweet as it can get. Infact in most cases I substitute vanilla essence for sugar. I enjoy a bit of 80% dark chocolate and 2 squares is plenty.

WOW isn't that huge! Who would of thought... i've kind of blown myself away.

I'm happy.

In those dark moments not so long ago, I never dreamed this would be possible. Not much about my life has changed. Well sort of. First, I had to fix my hormones. Second, I had to fix my testimony and repent. Third, time to start serving again (at home and at church). Fourth, time to tackle the weight and lifestyle changes.

I firmly believed that loosing this weight was (for me at least) was about obeying a commandment. I was infact breaking a commandment.... ie. the Word of Wisdom. The healthier I become the more I am appreciating and understanding my role as a beloved daughter of a Father in Heaven. And as his daughter I'm pretty special. The only sadness is that its taken me so long to realize this. I've wasted so much time!

This weightloss is NOT about being a size 8 or looking "hot" or "sexy." Remember that rant? This is about being healthy. Its interesting to note that the begining of healthy is HEAL. And that is exactly what had to happen and is continuing to happen. By doing this, I'm teaching my children correct eating habbits.

The last thing I wanted to share is a bit about women and hormones. I see alot of the old depressed me in alot of women I come into contact with. I firmly believe that alot of depression stems directly as a result of hormone inbalances. Within 3 days of taking some natural medications I felt NORMAL. I felt the heavy cloke of despair lift and my body respond is a positive manner. I was able to think straight and felt in control of my emotions and thought processes. I went to see a Holistic Doctor who i HIGHLY RECOMMEND.

Here are the details.

The Medical Sanctuary

Dr Paul Payton

(Holistic Medical Practitioner)

Office C2

Ashmore City Shopping Centre

206 Currumburra Road

Ashmore

PH 5564 5013

FAX 5564 5080

www.themedicalsanctuary.com.au

Thankyou everyone for you kind comments and support. Its been most encouraging to receive your kind words.

Christmas made with my own hands

I love making as many gifts as possible at Christmas time. This means you have to start early or just resist giving aways crafts for birthdays and other special occasions throughout the year. This year we have my sister in law and her husband and 3 kids to buy for (in the Kilworth family). I've racked my brains! I think i've made up my mind what to do for all the girls. Here are my ideas.

My sister in law, Nikki, loves a funky pant. I saw this pattern Issey Miyake designed for Vogue. Love the top and pants combo. What do you think?

Pattern number 1052

I've tried to upload the picture but the file keeps getting corrupted somewhere along the line. Google it if you can be bothered.

So idea number 2. For the 2 girls i wanted to make some church and casual skirts for my neices.

I was planning to use the new pattern Make it Perfect just released, and incorporate this concept on no big dill.

As it happens Make it Perfect have a give away currently running to win the new pattern. If your interested check it out here.

Now idea number 3.... is for me. I'm finding as i loose weight its really hard on the clothes front. Clothes aren't fitting or are looking baggy and making me look bigger than I really am. I don't want have to buy a whole wardrobe at every size on my way down. So what to do!

My solution... a wrap skirt! I'll use another pattern from Make it Perfect to achieve this.

Plus some home baked goods like last year. I just made an apple cordial, so depending on how that goes down tonight with my friends who are coming for dinner then that may make it into some gift baskets as well. The feedback was the relish was yummo. Better start cooking soon.

And while I'm at it, I'm needing some ideas for my stall. I'm just wanting to sell some food items. So far I thought I'd do my tomato relish, lemon butter, melting moments, apricot balls, anzac biscuits. Would love some ideas. And the only proviso is that the ingredients are relatively cheap to buy and easy to make.

Thanks!

Day One... should be un-eventful right?! I'm hungry. I had my first lite n easy meal at lunch just after it arrived. I was nice, but i could of eaten 3 times that amount to feel satisfied. I had porridge for breakfast made with skim milk and an apple for morning tea. ARGH i didn't think it would be so hard STRAIGHT AWAY. And to make matters worse, its raining, so my walk down to the park will have to wait for clearer weather. I guess this really is day one of re-hab. Massively addicted to food!

Goal 1

Fit my wedding and engagement ring

Goal 2

Fit a size 14 for the eventual nuptuals of the Beffamy and Bennitch. (No pressure guys, I need a while to reach that target).

Goal 3

Cut back on lite n easy and suppliment meals with my own cooking

Goal 4

Exercise. DOn't know how i feel about this one. hmmmmm

Right. The ranting is over. Back to work ALicia

Monotony... education for the eternities

Those who believe in the Plan of Salvation have a desire and want to return to live with our Father in Heaven. Further still we believe in progression and the eventuality of becoming like our Heavenly Parents in the roles of Gods (with the conditions of righteousness of course). So this is my opening paragraph.

Paragraph two. We're mortals and daily life is full of routines that are essential for our health and happiness. Most days are exactly alike. These certainly seems to be the case myself, a stay at home mum. The routines revolve around cooking and cleaning. OH MY GOODNESS THE CLEANING! Its not unusual to clean something up to 10 times a day. I average sweeping 4 times a day, washing up anywhere from 2-6 times a day, i make several meals, clean up toys fiddy million times and every now and again i spot dust in a place i haven't paid attention to in years and decide that the filth is to be eliminated this instant! I've often think while i'm ironing one of my husband business shirts..... didn't i just iron this! I wonder how many times I've ironed this shirt. So you get the drift, I clean alot and still the house is no where near the standard i'd like to keep.

In the days where i get really down its usually to do with how board i am from doing the same things over and over and over again. There is no excitement in monotony. Some days i try to give tasks little or no thought and just "get it over with." Other days it really gets to me and on those days the dishes sit in the sink, the toys are resembling a war zone and food is found smeared into the cream rug.

My question in all of this... What is the Lord trying to teach me? There is a lesson to be learnt in monotony. There is an attitude to be learnt in monotony. There is a eternal reality yet to come in monotony.

How long has God the Father been a God the Father? And how long is God the Father going to be God the Father? Eternity. I expect he knows alot about monotony. Has he not been doing the same things for eons of time and will continue to do so forever more. So where does the desire and enthusiasm in saving another one of his children come from. I mean he's done this a billion times already, we get board from ironing a shirt a hundred times!

Monotony is teaching me to be patient. It teaches me to serve those i love, whilst forgetting myself. It teaches me to use quiet moments and go on auto drive whilst performing a task, but use the time to ponder and evaluate. It teaches me to master my temper. It teaches me that the process is more important than the end result. It teaches me to rely on the Lord. It teaches my mind to entertain itself. It teaches me to plan better. It teaches me to teach my kids to become more independent and clean up after themselves. It is continuing to teach me to become like Him.

And can one find Joy in monotony? I think we'd better, because i suspect we're all going to have a mortal and spiritual lifetime full of it.

Starting something without the passion to back it up...

I had a temple recommend interview a few months back. One of the questions relates to faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. I answered in the affirmative. Yet how strong is this faith?

The goal is to be healthy. I'm currently obese, and this is not acceptable. I'm breaking commandments by not looking after this body and thats not good enough.

Put simply, i know i have to loose weight and gain control of a healthy lifestyle, the fact of the matter is I really have no interest what so ever. I don't believe I can do it. I don't believe any changes or efforts will last. This is and will be my hike to some unattainable summit. The goal in all its enormity, completely TERRIFIES me. Its like the first time you give birth. Your pushing and it hurts, but you can't ignore the fact that YOU HAVE TO DO IT.

Faith is not fear. Its time to live my testimony. For years I have let self doubt hinder and justify past behaviors and habits. I am absolutely right in saying that i can't do this..... on my own.

I know all the information in my head. Even whilst I'm typing this i lack the conviction i feel i need to start and see this through. So step 1 is this... Start

As of next week i start Lite n Easy. I will start taking zinc again. Did I tell you I'm scared. I think this is going to dredge up some stuff. I call it stuff because i really don't know what's going to happen. Heaven help this home, and all who live in it!

I don't care how much i weigh. This is about changing the physical Alicia so the spiritual Alicia can soar to new heights. I believe that they are connected. We'll see.

Why "bringing sexy back" is not important to me...

I have 2 men in my life who detest the words, hot and sexy, when it comes to describing how a woman looks. Infact one of them actually rouses at me and asks me to use a more "appropriate" word. I thought they were going a little over board, but I think there is some just reasoning to their strong objections.

Whilst talking to another fellow mum at church yesterday I shared my insight with her. I explained that this (picture me pointing up and down my body) DOESN'T MATTER. I can feel good about myself and not be a supermodel.

Now let me quickly add that it does matter. I believe strongly that our bodies are a temple and that we should take care of our bodies.

There is no requirement waistline measurement to gain exaltation. As long as i'm healthy then it doesn't matter how I look. I've been able to develop enormous amount of self worth by becoming closer to Heavenly Father. I have come to respect my mind through meditation. I think part of me still and always will reserve some of my self esteem in my appearance (and rightly so), but it will no longer be the cause for feeling ugly, unworthy of love or demoralized.

I would imagine people take pride in the hard work they put into their appearance. I hand it to them, it must take immense amounts of motivation and determination to maintain those types of physics. I've noticed they all say how wonderful they feel, being full of energy. I must admit i envy that part (the energy). In saying that I've come to learn that living the gospel more fully gives me energy. Living my life more in harmony with gospel teachings gives me energy.

I guess the title of the post it not entirely true. For me it just doesn't matter anywhere near as much as it used to.

Going back to my first paragraph. I asked why the boys hated the terms. They answered that the terms are overtly sexual and demeaning. Now these are their opinions bloggers, so don't get your nickers in a knot. We all think people are attractive for different reasons. Sometimes that starts out with their appearance and opinions can quickly change when they open their mouths. Why do we need to be sexy? Why do we need to be hot? For me it means looking a certain way to get attention. And probably the wrong type of attention (unless its someone we're married to).

So here it is. I want to be BEAUTIFUL. Not sexy or hot. Beautiful implies a whole host of qualities. Sexy and Hot imply sexual attractiveness. We don't use the word sexy to describe someone's intellect or personality yet we do use the word beautiful. Its really only a small thing, changing my choice of words, but for me it has a deeper meaning. Changing the word means changing my goal. My husband already finds me sexually attractive (which used to amaze me when i'm currently a size 20) so I'm going to change some other qualities that can make me even more Beautiful. Do you get my line of thinking here?